How young is too young to talk to your kids about porn?
One Cochrane church is leading the initiative to raise awareness about the negative affects of pornography and encourage parents to start honest conversations with their children.
“People are just not aware how this is affecting family life – it makes me very sad,” said Esther Aichele, who spearheaded the screening of Over 18 at the Bow Valley Baptist Church, earlier this year.
The independent film made by Hope for the Sold, follows the story of a 13-year-old boy who started viewing pornography at the age of nine and how it negatively affected his life.
“I think porn is something that touches everybody in today’s society,” said Jason Koleba, lead pastor of Cochrane Alliance Church.
“It is much more violent and hardcore – it’s not just Playboy anymore, it is a lot more violent in nature.”
As a church pastor and father, Koleba said it is important to increase awareness to families about how easy it is for kids to access pornography.
“They can very quickly find themselves on a website they don’t understand … It does damage to kids and exploits people, children, women and men. We can’t ignore it anymore,” Koleba explained before the screening.
With expansion renovations underway at the Alliance Church, the screening was featured at the Bow Valley Baptist Church March 28. More than 200 young adults, parents, and seniors were in attendance for the 90-minute documentary.
The film also featured a mix of interviews from pornography directors, self-confessed former porn addicts and ex-porn stars.
“I want families to talk about emotions and I want families to have more of an open relationship so that things don’t have to be hidden and so there are things that are not shameful,” Aichele said.
“A lot of people can access these sites because kids are alone and parents are busy but I do hope something positive comes of it.”
After the screening, questions were taken via text message for the two guest speakers – Garett Thackeray from the Strength to Fight organization, a group of Canadians who are passionate about fighting for a porn-free Canada, and Philip Calvert, who works with International Justice Mission.
The majority of questions centered around advice on how to protect children and when is an age-appropriate time to discuss pornography.
“The average age kids first encounter porn is 10, so talk to them before they are 10. No time is too soon,” Thackeray told the attendees.
“Just because something is common, doesn’t make it right … porn fuels rape culture.”
Calvert echoed Thackeray’s statements, reminding parents not to use shame as a tool to work against their children.
“Shame is a really powerful emotion. Bridge the gap of shame with friendship, make sure your kids know you love them,” Calvert said.
“Think of your children as people … there is lots of opportunity and ways to be engaged. Take a measured approach.”
While invited, MP Blake Richards was unable to attend but sent a letter encouraging families to take action in the “fight against sexual exploitation.”
Aichele said she is trying to work with schools to incorporate the harms of pornography into the school curriculum.
“Generally speaking, I got an open ear from the principals,” Aichele said.
In a statement from Rocky View Schools, the director of communications said the division follows the Health & Life Skills kindergarten to Grade 9 program of studies which has sexual health related learning outcomes in grades four to nine as well as the Career and Life Management 10-12 curriculum. The director also noted that parents have the opportunity to have their children opt out of human sexuality education.
“It will make a difference in our culture for years to come. Porn objectifies women, creates difficulties in marriages, uses money and because it is escalating, people have to go deeper and deeper and it costs more and more – the consequences followed down the road are huge,” Aichele said.
For more go to cochranealliance.com/news.
FACTBOX:
Recommendations by Blake Richards on how to get involved:
Sign a petition asking the federal government to enact meaningful age verification on all adult websites.
Ask the school trustees in your community to incorporate the harms on pornography into school curriculum.
Meet with, or write to, your provincial MLA.
