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Alberta campground victimized by porta-potty pirates

"Who steals a porta potty?"
WW-Lions Campground Rink BWC 1448-Barry
Foothills Lions member and Turner Valley Mayor Barry Crane posted an incredulous video on Facebook regarding the disappearance of the portable toilet from the Lions Campground in Black Diamond on Dec. 12. The Foothills Lions Club prepared a rink surface at the site and opened their gates to the public, only to have their portable toilet disappear from the site.

The Foothills Lions Campground porta-potty proved too portable last week after members found to be missing.

The portable toilet had been brought out for public use as the Lions prepared a skating rink and light display at the campground.

“Over here at the campground, we’ve got all these fire pits, we’ve got the rink we’re making, but you know what’s missing? Our porta-potty,” said Lions member and Turner Valley Mayor Barry Crane in a Facebook Live video posted Dec. 12. He believed it to be stolen.

“Now I don’t get that. If you’ve gotta go, there’s corner stores, there’s gas stations, you go to Timmys — you don’t need to take the whole potty.

“That might’ve been a bad weekend, but I’ve never had a weekend bad enough I needed to take a whole porta-potty home with me. Besides, it’s not even heated. Really.”

In an interview later that day, Crane remained incredulous at the fact that someone managed to steal the portable toilet, which the Foothills Lions have had since 2013 and brought out of storage for the ice rink.

“Who steals a porta-potty?” Crane said. “To steal a porta-potty requires a whole other level of strangeness.

“They literally had to come into our campground, which is normally locked, but we opened for the public, and they had to put it on a truck and drive away with it.”

Crane added that volunteers had searched the nearby area and riverbank to make sure the toilet hadn't simply hitched a ride on strong winds the night prior.

The Black Diamond and Turner Valley-area service club intends to file a police report, Crane said.

“We’re going to ask the RCMP to engage the Capture Program which is set up with Turner Valley and Black Diamond,” he said.

The Capture Program is an initiative that draws on the contribution of security camera footage from local businesses and residents to help police fight crime in the region.

“We’re going to see if we can’t find a vehicle with a grey porta-potty with the word “Pit Stop” on the side,” Crane said.

“Our hope is that the Capture Program will actually come through with us for the licence plate and vehicle description and the RCMP can follow up on it.”

Fellow Lion James Lee voiced his disappointment.

“We put this whole thing on and everyone knows we’ve done this for our community,” Lee said. “And when you’re getting this kind of thing happening it sure sends a sour message to us.”

In his Sunday Facebook video, Crane implored for the porta-potty pirates to return to their toilet.

“Why don’t you bring that porta-potty back, because I guarantee we’re going to press charges if we find you,” he said.

Anyone with information or surveillance footage relating to the disappearance of the portable toilet is asked to contact Turner Valley RCMP at 403-933-6600.

On top of legal consequences, he also threatened to draw on his repertoire of Newfoundlander humour.

“If we find you, it’s gonna be hilarious, there are going to be a lot of jokes — maybe I’ll do a daily Facebook post just for you, the porta-potty thief of the Lions Campground rink project," he said.

“Congratulations, you win the douche bag of the year award.”

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