I never thought I’d be able to relate to the paparazzied struggles of celebrities at the tender age of 25, especially given that I’m still living in my mother’s basement of my childhood home and I don’t have a single book published under my name, regrettably.
All this being said, after an article, Beating the School of Hardknocks, was published a couple weeks ago on May 10 in the Cochrane Eagle, I found myself feeling an incredible sense of violation and shame, and most distressingly, that my agency had been taken away by the “Big Bad Media.”
You see, while I shared those intimate details of my own volition to the audience present at the incredible Mental Health Workshop Cochrane High facilitates annually, many of you may be surprised to hear that I did not, in fact, speak with the author Jenna Dulewich personally, nor even meet her.
We did exchange one voicemail each, to which I expressed an interest to meet with her one day after I returned to town from work, offering my availability to chat further over coffee, but I didn’t hear back from her.
Had I known that Jenna would publish the most “shocking” fragments of my 20-minute conversation that day at the workshop, without providing any meaningful, or sincere context behind the quotes, I would have never allowed the story to be written in the first place.
The very personal details of my life that I chose (chose being the imperative word here) to share at Cochrane High on May 4 were offered in confidence to the audience to provide opportunities for the students to relate on some extremely difficult situations, particularly within family structures, and to allow some insight past my bright smile and deceptively positive energy.
Yes, I’ve struggle with a vicious and chronic eating disorder since my early adolescence, and, yes, I’ve struggled with self-harming in the past. However, I’m currently utilizing my struggles to stimulate awareness and conversation, motivate others to reach out and receive help, and challenge the incredible stigmas associated with mental illness in our society.
Each and every trauma my family and I have experienced has made us stronger, fiercer in our compassion and love for one another. The support of my family has been absolutely critical to my recovery and self-growth over the years. Had Jenna taken the time to follow up with me, she would’ve heard how I’ve dedicated myself to a field of work supporting toddlers with special needs, where my empathetic nature and overwhelming sensitivity are precious gifts that aid me daily to help these children.
By snatching onto the grittiest, most gossip-worthy portions of my narrative, I personally feel like the article is contributing further to the sensationalization of mental health struggles in the media, and, at the very least, left me feeling extremely anxious and distraught. I’m so much more than my scars and struggles, scandalous and newsworthy as they may be.
Truthfully, this blatant display of unprofessionalism by the Cochrane Eagle has deeply shaken my trust in journalists and if I’m being absolutely frank, has made me reluctant to share my story with the same candor and bravery in the future, which is a damn tragedy, as I know I can help heal myself, this silly society stuck on shaming, and maybe others with my narrative.
I would like to extend my sincere gratitude to Cochrane Eagle editor, Chris Puglia, for his quick and remorseful response, and more importantly, for allowing me the opportunity to reclaim my agency.
It’ll take some time, but I know this letter I’m writing now is a great first step to feeling better about this whole situation.
Haley Kaminski
