This week the Eagle will be exploring the group Healthy Relationships with Andrew Gustainis, domestic violence treatment program lead and group facilitator, and the exciting changes to come.
Healthy Relationships is a court-mandated group for men, with the goal to provide them with psychological counselling to examine and stop any controlling, dysfunctional or abusive behaviours.
“We provide talks in a group environment where the men can address and change unhealthy behaviours and thoughts,” Gustainis explained.
“They get an opportunity to look at how they think and act in their relationships; they get to see the connections between their thoughts, emotions and actions; (and) they learn new skills and strategies to help them manage their emotions with conflict resolution, communication and stress management.”
Healthy Relationships arrived in Cochrane in 2011, and was originally an outreach treatment program from the YWCA in Calgary.
“They provided the groups to the communities as a pilot project,” Annemarie Tocher, co-ordinator for the Western Rocky View Family and Community Resource Centre, explained.
“The programs were supported through a provincial funder – to see if there was a need, and to meet the need for local men.”
The town took over the program in 2013 while still being funded by Alberta Health Services: Family Violence Treatment Program.
But soon the town will be announcing a big change to the program.
Instead of just being court-mandated, soon the program will be open to the public – open to anyone who wants to attend.
“A comment I hear often from the men is they wish they would’ve heard or learned of these skills and information when they were younger,” Gustainis explained.
“I think we can all benefit from learning new skills and strategies for relationships.”
Another idea that gets brought up often in the group is the socialization of men, Gustainis said.
“I think our socialization of men encourages boys and men to think and act in very specific ways, such as not to show any weakness, fear or sadness,” Gustainis explained.
“What I think ends up happening is boys are not boys and later men are really not connected with certain parts of themselves, in terms of what they are thinking and feeling in certain instances.”
Gustainis said there is a term used, called the “man-box,” where boys are being raised and they are being told what rules and guidelines to follow in order to be considered a “man” – which limits certain expressions and behaviours.
The group facilitator explains that he believes this type of thinking leads to a disconnect to where boys (and later men) are conditioned to deny certain thoughts and feelings – setting themselves up for relationship challenges.
“I think this program helps to reconnect and examine and explore ways to express themselves in healthier ways and to communicate what they are feeling in other ways and, in the end, I think it helps to have healthier relationships,” Gustainis said.
With the program opening to the public, organizers are hopeful individuals use it as a resource for those struggling with abusive behaviours, to prevent the issue from becoming a criminal one.
“I think the program gives (the members) an opportunity to step back from their life and examine it – ask is this a good belief to have, is this a good way to act, is this how I want to act in my marriage? Or in a relationship with anyone – this is a good opportunity,” Gustainis said.
“We wanted to really create an opportunity for men who are looking for support but do not know where to get it,” Tocher said.
As of now, the program will only be open to men, as organizers say they have not received any referrals for women, but are open to creating a group for women in the future.
“I see this program promoting healthy life skills which is applicable to all of us (and) I hope it is received – as an opportunity to learn new ways of thinking and acting, that will help with their relationships with their spouses, with their children, with their co-workers.
“I see it as beneficial for everyone,” Gustainis said.
Currently, the Cochrane Domestic Violence Treatment Group for men is offered once a week over 14 weeks. Court-mandated clients are referred through Community Corrections, and self-referrals may be accepted based on assessment. Fees are on a sliding scale.
For information on the program contact 403-851-2259.
