A recent suicide in the community has put the mental health of children top of mind and to help Mitford School’s parent council brought caregivers together to learn valuable tools to help identify possible issues.
The Jan. 9 forum presented by Crystal Dittrick, one of Rocky View Schools’ (RVS) provisional psychologists, centered on children’s mental health with a specific focus on tips on how to recognize and support a child in crisis.
Beyond helping parents differentiate when a child is stressed versus in crisis, the presentation highlighted how healthy relationships with parents is key and explained ways a parent can form a positive bond as their child enters adulthood.
When it comes to adolescent stress, Dittrick said some typical behaviours may include increased moodiness, increased awareness of body image, sleeping in and dawdling more, becoming opinionated and experimenting with drugs and alcohol.
“Some of those are actually developmentally normal and it’s important to recognize what is typical of the adolescence period,” Dittrick said. “But, there are times when those get to a place where we need to be concerned.”
When a teen starts to show signs of depression, engaging in self-injury or substance abuse among other things, it is a possible signal that they are in crisis.
In a graph looking at a typical RVS classroom created by Chris Pawluk, RVS’ lead psychologist, 17 out of 25 students don’t have significant mental health difficulties, two might be experiencing some degree of depression, three may be experiencing a form of anxiety and one may experience either ADHD, psychosis or an eating disorder.
Dittrick added the age for mental health symptoms in teens is becoming a lot younger and can become more of an issue as early as elementary school.
“What I’m noticing – and I don’t know if you’re noticing – is that some of this is happening a bit earlier than that 13 plus (age).”
While it’s important to understand the stresses your child may have, Dittrick warns it may not be as easy to address since adolescence is also an age for conflict to begin in your relationship with them.
“This is where we get into this place where you’ve parented to protect for so long and you’re now moving into parenting to prepare them for the world and some conflict can happen in terms of that transition.”
The gentlest ways to approach your child about stresses in their life, especially when you begin to notice dramatic changes from them is to be “respectfully curious” – meaning parents should ask questions but not pry.
“You do have a lot of power as an adult to be that one person they feel supported by. In that way, relationship is key.”
Being sensitive, responsive, listening and supportive are all important ways to encourage a healthy communication between yourself and a parent, Dittrick said, adding that avoiding being judgmental or lecturing will help your child open up more.
When it comes to time online, cyber bullying can be a problem but as a parent, taking away all their devices could be equally damaging since you may be cutting off the line of positive support from friends. Dittrick suggests instead to have set times your child should be off of their device, even if it’s a once-per-week device-free family dinner.
Kari Rose, a member of Mitford parent council, said learning to recognize and deal with crisis is especially important in light of recent events in town.
“There’s been some recent tragedies in Cochrane high schools that a lot of families have had to deal with,” Rose said. “We don’t want to make a mountain out of a mole hill but we also don’t want to slide things under the carpet.”
Rose said her big take away from the presentation was learning about the resources available to parents and children. She added that parents should be open to community support when their child is going through a mental health issue.
“We don’t need to be ashamed and we don’t need to hide it. I think so many parents feel judged or feel like they are less if their children are having problems, they think it’s a reflection of them, when it’s not. We can all bind together, it takes a community, it’s a village,” Rose said. “If we can all come together, we’re going to raise these children up.”
