Two Cochrane dads are on a mission to teach parents what it means when their child is anxious.
Jeff Couillard along with Kelly Waters-Radcliffe have been presenting at elementary schools in town, as well as conducting webinars, to inform parents about the difference between when a child is anxious about a particular event versus suffering from an anxiety disorder.
The two also work with a partner in Winnipeg and run a group called Responsive Parent, a company that aids parents in becoming more in tune with their children.
An estimated 1.2 million children and youth in Canada are affected by mental illness according to the Mental Health Commission of Canada.
“One thing that separates true diseases, really more severe issues, is if it happens all the time and in different contexts,” Couillard explained. “But if it only happens in one context then we examine the context a little bit closer.”
Couillard said, in general, parents are quick to label their children with anxiety disorders as opposed to realizing their child may not like one specific situation for specific reasons such as fear or not understanding a certain task.
He uses his six-year-old’s experience in karate and the child’s resistance to participate as an example.
“We tried a couple of different times and eventually aborted karate and tried gymnastics which he thrived in,” he said, noting they were very similar environments. When he asked his son what he didn’t like, the child articulated his fears of karate over gymnastics.
“It’s just a reminder that often times we don’t know what the world looks like from the perspective of our kids,” Couillard explained, adding that’s the first step Responsive Parents tried to get parents to understand.
“Let go of your perspective just for a moment and look at it through the eyes of a six-year-old or 10-year-old and try to make sense of it through that lens,” he said. “It doesn’t necessarily make sense to someone who’s in their mid 30s and has had all these other experiences in life that made it not a big deal, but to a six-year-old it’s a big deal.”
When your child is dealing with an anxious moment or anxiety attack, Couillard suggests the best action is to allow your child to come out of their fear response and calm down before trying to get them to have a rational conversation.
“No one can really function when we’re in a fear response,” he said, adding that emotional and mental literacy are foundational skills for success in life.
Couillard presented at both Fireside School and Elizabeth Barrett School earlier this year. To view a webcast version of the talk visit: www.becomingresponsive.com/beyond-anxiety-webinar.
